Viewing the ‘Life in General’ Category
You may have already figured out that Flex development is my primary skill these days. I would say I develop, talk, dream, or think about Flex a large majority of each living day. Today, I’ve decided to branch out into other skills.
Effective immediately, I’m extending an invitation to all Quiznos franchisees to contact me for employment as a Quiznos Cup Dancer. But here are my demands:
- I must wear the Quiznos cup (illustrated here).
- I must wear it for a single hour, after which I may and will terminate my employment.
- I must pay you, Quiznos, the hourly wage you would normally pay a Quiznos Cup Dancer.
- I must commit my full efforts to provide the best Quiznos Cup Dance you have ever personally witnessed.
Contact me. I’m waiting. Little Caesars franchisees need not apply.
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Today was a momentous occasion. After eating at Panda Express for lunch, my fortune cookie foretold that a thrilling experience was in my near future. And oh was it so true! On the drive back to work my ‘95 Subaru hit 100,000 miles. Twas such a thrilling experience that we pulled over to celebrate and capture the moment forever:
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Whether it’s at work, church, or home, I’ve seen far too many times where the phrase “I don’t have time” has led to misunderstandings and/or arguments. Why? Because it means something different to each person.
Let me illustrate. Picture in your mind a man in his mid-thirties sitting on a couch watching the boob tube while licking his fingers clean of Cheeto residue. What if he said he didn’t have time? Would you agree? Seriously, go ahead and answer. Continue reading »
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Buying a home can be stressful. Buying your first home can be even more so. You may not know where you start. You may not understand all the lingo. You may not be able to differentiate between marketing ploys and practical procedures. You may not know what you’re looking for in a house or where you’d like to start your search. You may not know how much you can afford. As a recent first-time home buyer myself, I ran into a lot of the same issues. Having learned a great deal through my experience, I’ll offer what I can to other first-time home buyers: Continue reading »
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I’m six feet five inches tall. According to this chart of height percentiles according to age, that means I should be in about the 120 percentile range for my age. Apparently every major mercantile distributor thinks so as well. Continue reading »
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I understand customer service is a difficult job. I really do. In my job each day I help other programmers and I know how it feels to try to solve a problem or answer a question without having my hands on the keyboard and seeing the code. But sometimes, just sometimes, it seems customer service really goes out of their way to screw things up. This time, Dish Network was no exception.
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Unless you’ve lived under a rock over the last year, you’ve heard our economy is in a heap of trouble mainly due to mortgages our country’s homebuyers can’t pay for. And if you actually have lived under a rock, I salute you for not being part of the problem.
So who’s to blame? Oh, there’s plenty to go around alright. Jimmy Carter? Ronald Reagan? Bill Clinton? George Bush? Franklin Raines? Jamie Gorelick? Chris Dodd? Barney Frank? Phil Graham? The plethora of banks? Wall street? Predatory lendors?
Let me share a reader’s comment I found online while reading Bankruptcy, not Bailout, is the Right Answer that I believe encompasses the mindset of many American citizens:
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Fellow citizens and countrymen, I feel like I’ve had bounteous opportunities to express my gratitude for your zeal for sharing, but never so much as now. Please, allow me.
Thank you. Thank you for ignoring evacuation notices so the coast guard can come rescue you at 100x the cost just a few days later. Thank you for living below sea level where hurricanes rip through several times in a decade. Thank you for coming back after each one, rebuilding, and pretending it won’t happen again in the next few years. I can’t express enough how I love paying for levies and FEMA trailers. We just don’t have enough open land in this great country of ours–what better way to make use of our scarcities than to create artificial ground!
Thank you for purchasing homes and cars that far exceed your income. Thank you for simultaneously opening multiple credit card accounts and filling them to the brim with the latest designer fashions. Thank you for racking up bills into the hundreds of dollars for your ten-year-old’s text messages. Thank you for participating in lotteries, gambling, and pyramid schemes. After all that, could you do me a favor and turn around and declare bankruptcy? I just love paying for this stuff! I can’t get enough of it!
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One of the great things about running a blog is the ability to share with random, distant strangers ideas that only a decade earlier would have been sequestered by a particular region or culture. Today, I’m officially declaring to the world one of the Utah’s greatest gifts to mankind: fry sauce. Utah’s mountains, fluffy snow, KFC, and rock climbing don’t hold a candle to the gift of fry sauce. Fry sauce is a brilliant, salmon-colored mixture of ketchup and mayonnaise, often creatively enhanced with BBQ sauce, garlic, chilies, and/or seasoning. Think I’m pulling your chain? Google frysauce and you’ll find hundreds of others who will never go back to plain ketchup for fry sousing. Continue reading »
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